in between days
music// nerd - rockstar
book// black blade - page 64
I find myself hopelessly plagued with lethargy whenever I come home from work. Not that work is physically taxing, considering how my butt is glued to the comfortable chair most of the time. It's just an accumulation of the mental exhaustion from laying out articles continuously in a 9-5 time span and the monotonous fatigue of standing still from Clementi to Woodlands during the journey home, which is more often than not during the dreaded rush hour. Whatever it is, that's my justification for not updating this journal as often as i would like to [and also for having this pustulant face].
But life is not without its happier moments. Designing work is incredible fun and I finally have substantial work to sink my teeth into. I think I'm beginning to feel worthy of wearing these shoes I'm in, no matter how many times that worth was tested. I'm made for this job I'm telling you, for the better and the worse.
Oh how can I almost forget to mention this? UNGLAMNESS has been the theme of my life this past week. Knocking my head full throttle against the shutter of Level 8's Hanger in the presence of ten strangers [which is retribution for using the golfball side of Shila's maknenek tool to hit the plastic cup off Ret's mouth, WITH HER CONSENT MAY I REMIND YOU], having a random male stranger casually wave and say 'Hey' to me, producing a very dumbfounded effect on my part, and the psychological trauma of having my friends recognise me on TV Mobile [Hilary Duff fans please don't hate me!] - I have been a very uncool boy this week.
But it's moments like these that makes life funky ain't it?
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [2:20 PM]
Happy Mother's Day
r. kelly - heart of a woman
My Mum. She would occasionally use me as an emotional punching bag with her random verbal outbursts, screaming at me at the top of her freaking lungs because I spent too much time surfing "my nonsense" on the Internet. My Mum. She almost killed me when I complained to her about my perpetual lack of money and made sure I realised what a [relatively] privileged individual I am. My Mum. She waits for me in the darkness of the living room, reminiscent of some gargoyle, when I come home late after a day of hanging out with my friends, scaring the shitballs out of me with her nocturnal shrieks, almost stranggling me for a valid alibi. Safe to say dear friends, my Mum sure as hell knows how to scold me hard.
But my Mum, she knows how to love me hard too. She wakes up way before sunrise every day to cook, do the laundry and clean the house [thoroughly] before leaving for work, which involves selling jewellery under the blazing sun. As if that alone isn't a bitch, she has to entertain the fucking nonsense of impossibly difficult customers and bitchy, envious, scheming peers. At 6pm she finds herself home once again, carrying heavy bags of grocery. She washes herself up and prays before ironing a hill of clothes belonging to six different people. She does all this while still making sure my cats, my grandma and I are loved. Once again, I remind you that she does this every single day...
That is my Mum. That is the woman I underappreciate. That is the woman I LOVE. I'm sure my story isn't very different from yours. Tell your Mum you love her tomorrow ok?
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mums in the world!
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:58 PM]
Project Green Grass
Friendly bands. Good cause. Got some good shots.
Not bad for my first freelance photo gig. Syukur Alhamdulillah.
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:36 AM]
on how to and not to behave
imogen heap - speeding cars
I've been wasting a lot of my time on thinking nowadays.
On what is appropriate behaviour.
I'm too soft for some people.
But then again i'm too much of a fucker to some.
I've also been putting myself in the unlikeliest of shoes.
I never knew I actually have the capacity for sympathy towards you.
And hello, can you please just let me take care of you?
I've also been given a harsh reality check.
No one cares if you're new at this.
All they know is that you're delivering the goodies.
And even if you're good please do not expect a pat on the back.
Being good is only expected of you.
I need a support system, one where there is no envy, no jealousy.
I know the struggle is my own but people are not making it any easier.
My patience for everything is running dry.
So here's a song to keep me moving along.
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don't feed me violins just run with me through rows of speeding cars.
The papercuts the cheating lovers
The coffee's never strong enough
i know you think it's more than just bad luck
There there baby it's just text book stuff
It's in the ABC of growing up
Now now darling don't loose your head
None of us were angels and you know I love you yeah
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [11:52 AM]