Sunday, October 31, 2004
soul sessions with the preacher man
Masjid Annur is feeling more like a second home to me than just a holy place for worshipping God. The religious session i had there in the morning was by far the most beautiful religious experience i had. Overwhelming emotions were exploding everywhere and multitudes of people including my affectionately beloved preacher man were moved to tears. It kinda made me think about my life.
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:38 PM]
Saturday, October 30, 2004
boredom is the root of all evil
My mother & I have been engaged in this competitive verbal battle reminiscent of an energy-draining ping-pong match, where the ball unceasingly gets smacked back & forth until one of the opponent makes a fatal mistake or simply doesn't have the capacity to continue playing the game anymore. Yes it is undeniable both she & I have agitated the shit out of each other. We display our infuriation openly & painful words are simultaneously exchanged in the process. But, somehow, at the end of the day, we are still able to get through it. I am still able to praise and show my appreciation for her ambrosial cooking. We both still laugh ourselves silly talking behind our cats' backs. We still love each other. :)
My attempt to add some vibrance into my vapid life seemed to be rather successful today. I met up wit Sarah & we both shared a short but sweet conversation. She's having a pretty rough time wit Tim flying off to New Zealand on holiday. Awww common. The next thing you know one month would have passed by and the Gingers will once again be united. hahaha ok so what i said might possibly seem pretty corny to you guys but i cannot even be bothered to give a damn. Well after that i met up wit Aidil & we whiled our time away at Causeway Point. It was great hanging out wit him even though i was slightly disappointed Nadia could not make it. hahaha that moron. Due to his dodo-ness & Mcdonald's rather vague sales promotion i ended up spending some of my birthday money on food rather than on goods that could satisfy me. (my usage of these marketing terms is freaking me out).
But hey i made some STUPEFYINGLY STUPENDOUS purchases today! muahahaha. Bought myself a phat Billabong cap & a "ball-ly" pocketchain @ 77th Street. Now i have the exact same pocketchain Chestor Bennington has!!! & guess who i found "helping out" @ 77th Street...it was Kak Liza! muahaha. Oh yes apart from those i got 2 of the most phatest No Fear tees @ 50% discount each. There is nothing like street style clothings i tell you! I'm feeling goooddd & looking flyyyy :)
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:42 PM]
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
contemplating...still contemplating...
What is arman contemplating you might be wondering [if there ARE any living souls out there reading this oh-so-commiserable blog to begin wit]. i'm contemplating suicide that's what i'm contemplating....(silence)....muahaha...i'm morphing into a sadistic moron who jokes wit himself & aktually laughs @ his own jokes which he aktually findz to be funnnnyyyy...somebody shoot me please before i make a jackass of myself. My lack of a social life is stupefyingly stupendous. i'm strongly reminding myself of Harry Potter-once skool is over there is only shit boredom awaiting for him @ the Dursleys. In my case, it's at this shit boring place called Marsiling Rise...weak ah armannnn...& i woke up only to realise i missed my daily dosage of Samurai X...do you feel my pain???
Well enough wit sulking over my non-existent social life.
i'm contemplating whether i should:
(1) Do the remix for Tammy's song
(2) Take those scratching lessons
(3) Get myself a job for these holidays
Honestly-speaking i really wanna do all of them.
The only hindrances are:
(1) My lack of self-confidence in my rusting rhyming abilities
(2) Fear of "bankruptcy" if i take those scratching lessons
(3) Plain laziness
effin shit lah...im still contemplating...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [4:40 PM]
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
month of controlling temptations
[[First of all, before i bare my hearts out in this blog entry i would like to give a HUGE shoutout to my fellow gingers for a smashin' bowling time yesterday! hahaha...though there were some minor setbacks which included a NO-LONGER-EXISTING bowling alley & a particular taxi driver uncle by the name of Ng Teck Seng...things had a way of getting into place eventually. & thankz for the gift guys! I would also like to use this space to apologise to the class of t108! You see, Timothy had booked tables @ Seoul Garden & we were supposed to have dinner there (i'll be breaking my fast) after bowling. But i was compelled to cancel the dinner because i had to go for my prayers. The thing that i did not know was that almost the whole class was gonna be @ Seoul Garden to surprise me & celebrate my bthday wit me!!! Accept my sincere apologies for spoiling it for everyone you guys! I felt like decomposing shit when Tim told me because i had just deprived myself of a very happy moment...& the worst part was that i did not even go for my prayers...which was the main cause of my current on-going conflict wit mama...which is what i'll be baring my hearts out abt...]]
i am seeing a developing repetitive pattern...every single time i get into a phase of temporary temperamental state of depression...it usually starts wit an ugly confrontation wit my mother. If this was a factual statement then i can foresee a long period of moodiness, sombreness, gloominess & what the hell have you. I guess it infuriates me when there is no basis to her side of the argument yet she always comes out as the ultimate winner. After yesterday's episode wit mama it seems she's using the "slam doors & kitchen cutleries like it's the end of the world" technique to agitate the shit out of me. During buker puaser [breaking of fast] she was incredibly sweet & gentle to my older brother & i was treated like an invisible entity...which is an effing sharp contrast to the situation 2 days ago when she treated abang like a mortified dog instead of a son & i was showered wit sweet kindness...wth is wrong wit you woman??? Mannn...i really need to get myself some tangible refrains for both my middle finger & my tongue's vulgar alter-ego so as to manage my anger in a more civilised manner because i'm failing horrendously in practicing self-control...i guess this is REALLY the month of controlling temptations...more precisely the overwhelming temptation to erupt like a volcano of profanities...
But just now when the both of us walked home together after terawih she was rather nice. Infact she was rather sociable but i was the one wit the attitude problem & replied back wit one-liners. The reverse then followed. The both of us were like immatured kids who were pist at each other because the other one had stolen his/her toy or somethin & neither wants to call it a truce. Our respective skills in the perfected art of highly-subdued mutual verbal insults were evident just now...or maybe it was me just being paranoid...which i hell doubt...but i can see that things between me and her can only get better from here...give us time to simply cool down & things will get back to the way they were before...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:34 PM]
Monday, October 25, 2004
Welcome to My Life
Simple Plan did it once again...they somehow share my pain...pain that i felt in the past...but hey life's all good now. :)
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like some how you just don't belong,
And no one understands you?
Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud,
That no one hears you screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like,
When nothing feels alright,
You don't know what it's like,
To be like me!
To be hurt, to feel lost, To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life
Do you want to be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more,
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies,
While deep inside you're bleeding?
No you don't know what it's like,
When nothing feels alright,
You don't know what it's like,
To be like me!
To be hurt, to feel lost, To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life
No one ever lies straight to your face!
No one ever stabs you in the back!
You might think I'm happy,
But I'm not gonna be okay!
Everybody always gave you what you wanted!
You never had to work, it was always there!
You don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt, to feel lost, To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
To be hurt, to feel lost, To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked, when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
When no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life!
Welcome to my life!
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [7:38 AM]
Friday, October 22, 2004
remembering the boy you were...
and feeling proud of the man you've become...
12.00am - 1.30am
Hahahahaha...it is currently 1.02 a.m & i am beaming like a complete moron frm ear to ear. IM FINALLY 17 ya guyz! & what a great way 2 start a new chapter in my life than by having wonderful friends, both old & new, remember such an insignifant date in their heads. u guys rock man u guys really do...sniff sniff...idiot...making me feel so emotional...wahahaha. i wanna say thank you to Jemimah for her 2-days-in-advanced bthday wish + msn bthday cake. I wanna thank Meifeng for aktually remembering my bthday after all these years...u are really a true friend indeed.. :) take care "woman"!!!! Humongus tankz to Khairin & Sureya for their bthday wishes + msn bthday cake @ 12am on de dot! muahaha u guys rock socks! & then ders Jules chee peng who insists she's de 1st to wish me even though she isn't...yet she's still beloved like i know i am...muahahah...tank u chee peng! Prema! Yes i think i shud be partying 2! mayb we can shake our booty @ some party in de near future to make up for it huh? Tankiu for ur bthday wish!!! & Meiying! u remembered!!!! hahaha...awww shucks...tankiu! & XBox, 17 is also a significant number in my life now too! muahaha...& SHAIK ALAUDEEN aktually smsed me @ 12.48am to say wish me happy bthday...tankz bro! AWWWW SHUCKS! i've only been 17 for one freaking hour and life is already so good! tanks ya guys!
5.00am - 11.30pm
I spent my birthday in the most laid back fashion today...which is definitely a pleasant experience because i was missing the good ol simple days of lolling life away & dreaming endlessly on my bed or on the sofa...so everyone...smile for me :) ...hahaha...Mama made me a super chocolatey-fudgey bthday cake topped wit mountains of strawberries...she said she made it wit lurveee...hahaha...& she gave me a damn touching bthday card after sahur @ abt 5 in the early morning... love u woman...& big bro bought me a freaking matrix-styled Fossil watch...damn phat lah! love u big man...(i'll rather be seen naked on orchard road than say that to him face-2-face..haha)...oh yeah both momma & poppa gave me bling2! yeayyyy!!! can go get myself more tees 2morow if the plan to hang hit town wit lina & azim goes on as planned...& i also wanna thank allllll my frenz who gave me birthday messages...tanx 4 remembering u guys...u all ROCK! & tanx for ur testimonial mavis...& tank ur fren one more time! lol...paise...
Mama said i am a very lucky guy to have my birthday during the fasting month, furthermore on a friday which is the so-called leader of religious days(???)...so de blessings i get for going for my friday prayers & solat terawih is seposed 2b overwhelmingly mounting...hahaha...datz a nice thought...oh yeah..even Oprah Winfrey sang me a bthday song 2day...haha long story...oh yes yes today's episode of Samurai X was goood...Kenshee my hero had defeated the "Child of God" when he was blind...wat a great day it has been...
arman shah is 17 ya'll!!! :)
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [1:58 AM]
Thursday, October 21, 2004
i earned those 17 years
I mentioned it once & i will mentioned it again...how time passes by so quickly feels so surreal. The next thing i know im turning 17 tomorow. :)
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [2:45 PM]
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
substance of the conversation
What am i about to proclaim in a matter of seconds will undeniably be abasing & degrading my self-pride but a young man gotta do what a young man gotta do. So here you have it my humiliating confession. Remember 2 blog entries ago i posted AN ENTIRE entry about how the last episode of Samurai X was internally killing me...well i switched on mr. tv the following day during the regular 6pm time slot & guess what was being aired on axn...errrrrrr...heh heh heh *idiotic nervous looney laughter*...it was Samurai X...wahahaha...OKOK so yes i admit i made a jackass out of myself for disgustingly displaying depression on PUBLIC DOMAIN when it wasn not even close to the finale...but hell now you can truly comprehend and appreciate just how much unbounded, passionate love i have for this classic anime! :) hahaha...aniways let me give you a brief overview of the lastest happenings on Samurai X...jeng jeng jeng...
So check this out Samurai x is expanding its scope & evolving into an anime wit really complex story lines. The new villain in town is this european/japanese samurai [who de hell knows coz even the europeans have the miraculous ability to speak fluent japanese...Sarah you would have been ashamed of urself! hahaha] who calls himself the "Child of God" who swears revenge on the ppl who had slaughtered in full blood bath christians for simply believing in their religion...serious shit...& he has mastered Kenshin's sword-fighting ability wit his own god-like agility & *fast-forward* my hero is blind after a battle...bluekkk...
Well a rude slap back in2 reality arman shah. i am gonna be 16-no-more in 24 hours time. Damn its almost surreal how fast time passes by. haha i still remember last year's bthday bash...& i do mean literally...i got bashed up by the guys @ some random block deck after skool...16 punches each to be exact, followed by a downpour of de most disgusting combination of decomposed curry, milk & a crack of an egg on my head. It was a tradition for every newly-turned 16-yr-old kid ya see...then i got a winnie the pooh jigsaw puzzle frm wendy & gang...muahaha...i'm wondering wat to expect for this year's bthday. Nay i am not expecting aniting... :)
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [11:37 PM]
Monday, October 18, 2004
the holidays are finally here!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Shorty got down low, said "come and get me." Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! i got so caught up, i forgot she told me! hahaha...Yeah baby! The horrendous marketing examination is FINALLY done & over wit! Do you guys have any clue whatsoever the torment i was compelled to endure for the past 48 hours??? i only had 4 hours worth of poor-quality sleep and the rest of the torturous 44 hours were spent cramping insanely large chunks of information into my brain [and i'm talking abt 14 chapters wit 20 pages/chapter containing heavy information]...it is a wonder i'm not suffering from any form of severe psychological damage...& even those 4 hours of sleep were accidental cases...i woke up feeling darn guilty and got so effed up that i didn't spend the time memorizing concepts and definitions instead. Well i did take breaks in between lah duh. i "recovered" after every large portions of information had been thoroughly memorised by listening to some phat hip-hop beats...oh the magical wonders & soothing effects of celestial music...incomparable...
Aniways i came to skool early this morning @ abt 9am-ish & met up wit Gingers 1 & 3 plus Eddy...couldn't stay in the house any longer...it was incarceration. Took a cab to skool coz i was too mentally drained out to endure the MRT journey. i met up wit them @ the NP library cafe & began the bluesey morning wit WeiShan and Sarah praising almost every single feature on my face...haha...turns out i have 4cm long ears...pretty small heh? hahaha...& then we helped each other out by reminding & explaining to each other definitions & all the ridiculously-dry-&-difficult-to-understand concepts. Focusing on marketing was especially hard when the view of the rain through those enormous library windows looked so beautiful outside...& the rhythmic swaying of the leaves of the trees were just so mesmerising u can't help but stone...but WeiShan made sure we focused...hahaha...
Morning then turned in2 the early afternoon and more & more of t108 started to arrive, & the next thing you know our usual slacking area on the 2nd floor of the library had transformed into a refugee camp [as it always does when we occupied the area]. We lie down on the carpet and roll around like we own that freaking place ya see...hahaha...oh yeah there was this guy who didn't pull his jeans up high enough that when he sat down there was "cleavage of the ass"...SyaSya & Tiffy quickly tore small pieces of ppr & hiding behind a pillar...SyaSya threw the pieces of ppr in2 de "hole"...hahaha bloody hell...she missed lah but de guy looked arnd here & there. After some time the guy changed his seating position...i looked at him for one second and the guy actually SMILED @ me...my Goddd...SyaSya u minahhhhh...
Well aniways the paper was wayyyy simpler than expected...& Tiffy got the rest of us all so stressed out when she showed us last year's marketing exam ppr [when the short-answered questions are worth 10 marks each & look more like long-answered questions than aniting...& the long-answered questions look like you are required to write an entire essay...you WILL get freaked out]...but thank God Mr Jerome Low had reformatted the exam ppr and made it more HUMANLY POSSIBLE to attempt...but that is not to say i am feeling confident i will get an A...ohhh nooo im feeling farrr away frm that...a pass is all i need...well a B would be nice lah but a pass should be the expected minimal...i do not want to retake an entire semester of Principles of Marketing! Godddd no! hahaha...i vomitted and regurgitated all those sensory-overloading information for the long-answered questions...hahaha...it was a therapeutic process that made my brain feel lighter...but the negative repercussions included a cramped right hand & a very sweaty ass after 2 freaking hours...bahhhh marketing is OVERRRR! YEAYYY!!!
PEACE
[aniways...i kinda like Marketing now...muahahaha]
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:21 PM]
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Samurai X
I am currently in an intermingling state of rapture and sinking sadness because i am extremely estactic of the fact that Samurai X [which is only my most favourite japanese animes of all time] had a very very very happy, wonderful ending but also rather depress because the show has come to an end. I apologise to the readers of my blog for my disgusting child-like display of emotion and enthusiasm over a japanese anime [of all things for crying out loud] but hey you chose to read my blog so you have no choice but to endure this uncomfortable process. Yes, Samurai X. Himura Kenshin or more positively or negatively renowned as Battousai the Slasher...my hero. haha. This world really needs a hero like him right now. This world in which we are living in is not a pretty place and this is the harsh reality...and this gives me more of a reason to justify why i would rather drown and get lost in my secret world of fantasy and imagination than live life. Samurai X. Please do not be mistaken and perceive this anime as a cartoon for children. It has the intensity and violence for adults. Supplementary to that it is downright adorably-hilarious, emotionally-powerful and inspiring. Samurai X. My most beloved japanese anime of all time. sniff sniff...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:08 PM]
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Lilynne's Sweet 17th
Yesterday was very fun. very very fun. :)
PIKTUREZ are up.
Happy bthday to darling Jules. :)
[Jules' birthday is one day after Lilynne's]
Come over to my place 2nite for ur pressie hun, if u know what i mean ;)
And mama is coming home tonite. :)
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [8:30 PM]
Friday, October 01, 2004
Marketing FEVER
I feel like such a significant, contributing marketing group member now! muahahahaha...serious serious im not being sarcastic to myself...yes yes the eyebags are making me look like a panda and there is an outburst of pimple epidemic...but hey its the LAST DAY to fret abt our marketing project...and what a better way to end it than by feeling competent as a group member and making actual, significant contributions!
i feel contented...muahahaha
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [1:12 AM]