Wednesday, March 31, 2004
ReM!N!ScEnCe <26>
Skored another one Bloggie!...hey...rhyming iz bkaming more smooth & almoz 2nd-natured 2 me nowadayz...woahh...Thank God...de title "Age of Ignorance" makez diz partikular piece (previouz entry) pretty self-xplanatory. Diz rhyme iz a representation of de spirit of youthz...adolescentz & teenagerz...who r in dat phase wer nothing really matterz, wit only fun & de xploration of new thingz az xceptionz...
Well aniwayz...me & mama r kinda talking...ya know...i know diz anger i felt 2wardz her waz a resolt of a very pathetik & kinda puny thing...but itz amazing how a little anger kan change my perzpektive on our mother-son-relationship...i've kinda realized our relationship iz almoz "superficial"...ya know wat i mean?...well...i tink diz partikular "phase" wer we r not really in talking termz will b healthy 4 our relationship...n pagi tadi mama brought Adek 2 de vet again...belom balek2 lagi...smalam pon samer...datu tak bilang aku...still trying 2 send de message dat "I'm a bad bad pet owner" akrozz...Oh God...if der waz one thing i kan ask frm u rite now...besidez making me a mazz kom student...iz dat pleze make my mama stop playing all diz stupid childish gamez...haha...kk...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [1:12 PM]
::. Age Of Ignorance .::
Soporific advicez, smothering my soul
Washing off me like liquid
dat iz warm but yet iz cold
Flirting wit katastrophe
De future iz never told
My sense of direktion senselezz
Reflekting on life, only when i'm old
Independence turnz resurgent
I'm bkaming impetuoz & ever more bold
Implakable emotionz, slowly unfoldz
Juxtapozing different momentz-insignifikance
Alwayz on de roll
I'm in diz age of ignorance
Temporary highz, juz needing someone 2 hold
he flared his nostrils rapidly [12:37 PM]
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
ReM!N!ScEnCe <25>
Sighhh...Hey Bloggie...i'm pretty disappointed wit myself...how i waz not able 2 kontrol my anger & fruztration & juz let my emotionz get de better of me...been dizrespekting my mother...if she were 2 ever by a stroke of mirakle (or more likely bad luck...haha) kome akrozz u Mr Bloggie & read my entriez...it'll really break her heart in2 smithereenz...well...de guilt of dizrezpekting my mother...MYSELF...& GOD...sighhh...i juz feel real guilty...but am still pist @ my mother...she owez me an apology...we kud've juz talked a lil bit more & kam out wit a mutual agreement & everyone wud've been happy (& not feelin .... ok...no more vulgaritiez)...but she waz so dizrezpekful...u want me 2 rezpek u but u dont rezpek me...itz a 2way street man...u may argue ur my mother...but i diden give birth 2 myself...u did...so de least u kud do 4 bringing me out in2 diz lezz den perfect world iz rezpek me az ur son...i kant believe u actually publikly humiliated me like dat...if Nyai wer 2 do dat 2 u how de heck wud u feel?...n b soo un-understanding...i'm feeling guilty & sorry koz of de way i "handled" my anger...but my guilt & apology stretchez till no more den dat...u still owe me an apology mother...but in de meantime...i'll try m ybest 2 keep my cool...i will try my best not 2 show any form of dizrezpek 2 my mama (i finally am able 2 adrezz her az mama instead of mother online)...one of de moz fruztrating tingz abt being a child iz dat no matter how right u r & no matter how wrong ur parent may b...u've got 2 lose...u've gotta give in...datz life...as a son...4 me...
Sighhh...no more signing off wit vulgaritiez...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [3:15 PM]
ReM!N!ScEnCe <24>
Hey Bloggie...i'm still fucked up...woke up in de freaking morning & it diden get any better...i'm still pist wit dat woman i kall mother & de temptation 2 throw my hp 2 her face iz still der (aniwayz...itz not a sin 2 tink of sometin...DOING IT iz on de other hand a totally different ting)...well b4 i kontinue let it juz b said dat my konstant uze of de werd FUCK iz a remark of fruztration...(duh)...kk...let me get some shit out of my system...yezterday after de mazz kom interview i waz lepaking @ CP...killing time waiting 4 my frenz 2 finish deir HML...my mother told me dat we'll b picking up Adek (cat) coz dier baru sunat datu petang leh fetch dier...so time past by & it waz abt 4.45pm & i waz @ Wendy'z werkplace...& my mother kalled me up & told she waz @ CP...so i waz like damn...awal sak datang...dier kater kol 5,6 jumper pat woodlandz comtrol station den we meet up & make our way der...she went up...& i told her nak jumper kawan jap kol 5 pat library...& she told me dat we promised *bla bla bla* & all dat krap dat alwayz komez out wenever her lipz moved...& Wendy told her dat i only wanted 2 pazz some stuff 2 my frenz...pazz 2 we kan make our move...(aniwayz...4 de past kapel of dayz aku stuck pat rumah cam sial sak...& i havent seen any of my frenz...so 2 b honest kinda missing dem & i juz wanted 2 see dem)...& she waz like *krapping* & suddenly she told me "If u dont want 2 follow me u dont have 2...i kan go by myself (her fucking faveret line 2 uze)"...den she turned & walked off...paz 2 cakap kuat2 "Don't follow me...u go do ur thing...i dont want u 2 follow me"...sial sak...gi cakap kuat2...depan Wendy & all her co-workerz...public humiliation sak...malu sak aku...datu muker kawan Wendy semuer lain after dey witnessed dat whole spektakel...I WAZ LIKE "FUCK" MAN...den Wendy told me 2 pazz de cd 2 her den de guyz kan go take it frm her...n den i did & went down 2 look 4 my mother...(she waz already fucking gone)...i kalled her hp dier tak jawab...smsed tak reply...so i waited pat daerah depan CP entrance auntomatic door...leaning againzt doz movie boardz...waiting 4 her 2 reply my sms...n i waited cam budak bodoh sak...15 min later i waz so fucked up i juz went home...datu pat rumah dier replied..."U dont have 2 follow me, u go do ur thing...I dont want u 2 follow"...alamak...naik bingit sak...nabe...
De ting dat fucked me up de most waz de fact dat she publikly humiliated me like dat...KAU TENGOK OPRAH WINFREY SHOW TAPI SATU BENDER PON KAU TAK BLAJAR...derz one episode where diz xpert said dat a child will do aniting 2 avoid public humiliation (obviouzly everyone doez but diz iz in de parent-child-relationship kontext) & dat 4 a child 2 learn aniting, a parent muz try 2 avoid dat...WELL HELL...she diden even TRY 2 avoid it...she juz opened her krap she kallz her mouth & juz freaking did it handz down...ARGHH...wat de hell...n shez trying 2 silently imply dat im diz bad cat owner...BUKAN AKU TANAK IKOT...KAU YNG CAKAP TAK PAYAH...KAU TANAK AKU IKOT...I'm sick of all of diz man...aku nak carik kejer cepat2 & get out of diz hellhole wich iz more like a prison den aniting else az often az i possibly kan ah...tired of her bloody attitude problem...
FUCKED UP
he flared his nostrils rapidly [12:55 PM]
Monday, March 29, 2004
ReM!N!ScEnCe <23>
De previouz entry waz my 1st ever rhyme..."Breathe" iz basikally externalising de fruztration of having your spirit trapped in a circumstantial situation where it iz not allowed 2 breathe...itz not ekzakly 'big hit" material...but az far az freestyle rapping 4 personal satizfaktion goez...i'm pretty satizfied...aniwayz...de interview waz alrite...sorry datz de only ting i kud say...juz pist @ my mother...FUCK LAH...i'm fucked-up rite now...komplete bullshit...she got bloody attitude problem man...feel like throwing my hp 2 her face...
FUCKED UP
he flared his nostrils rapidly [8:44 PM]
::. Breathe .::
No corrobation 2 my supposition
I'm lethargic
Wit de suffokating soul of a victim of repression
Grasping onto hope
In an unexpected movement
Like a spontaneous muskular twitch
I question our relationz
A slave of ur unchallenged grasp
I juz seek liberation
Pleze Just let me breathe
I'm tired of diz suffokation
When u open ur mouth 2 speak
Ur leveraging diz mind
I'm engaged in diz inner battle
Konfidence in deterioration...itz on de dekline
My inner spiritual light subdued
Ur wordz so piercing, so unkind
Pleze Juz let me breathe
Open ur MIND up, coz ur 3rd eye iz blind
he flared his nostrils rapidly [8:27 PM]
ReM!N!ScEnCe <22>
Mornin' Bloggie...(stretchez body...yawwnn)...well...i'll b having my interview in abt 4 hrz later...Yit Sze-nyer interview kol 10.20am...pagi gilerrr...all de best 2 her...{:D}...i'm gonna go 2 Causeway Point later @ 12pm 2 kollek de poemz frm Wendy...den i'll start making my way 2 NP...i'm feeling alrite i gezz...nervouznezz?...errrr...ader ah sikit2...well, it will all b over in a kouple of hourz...i'll have 2 go thru de "Next Round"...n in de end de "judgez" will make deir decision & "Vote" & I'LL B DE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!!!!...muhahahaha...kk...i'll shadup i'll shadup...hahaha...aniwayz...I finished my 1st ever rap yezterday...hahaha...b4 Wendy kalled me up...i juz took a piece of ppr, pencil & my handy-dandy diktionary & de next ting u know i kompleted my rhyme...i'll blog it down later in de afternoon...ANIWAYZ...Adek my cat will b sunat-ed 2day...sighhh...kecian dier...kecian sekali...tak tau aper nak cakap lagi...xcept dat may God take care of him & I pray dat de operation goez well...sighhh...WELL...datz all 4 now i gezz...PRAY 4 DE BEST 4 ME WILL YA???!!! I REALLY WANT DIZ KOURSE!!!...hahaha
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:28 AM]
Sunday, March 28, 2004
ReM!N!ScEnCe <21>
Hey Bloggie dude...i'm juz gonna rehearze wat i'm planning 2 tell de interviewerz 4 my Mazz Kommunikation kourse interview 2morow..."My name iz Muhammad Arman Shah Bin Rawi...u kan addrezz me simply az Arman...I initially got 2 know abt de Mazz Kommunikation kourse thru my friend Wendy (hahaha...wonder if i shud inklude Wendy'z name)...I have been doing some form of research about diz partikular kourse online...i basikally went 2 Ngee Ann Poly'z official website & browsed 4 information on Mazz Kommunication & it statez dat diz kourse "providez studentz wit structured learning mass communication theoriez & prakticez...& dat studentz will develop professional knowledge & kommunication skillz dat r required 4 a kareer in mazz media"...I know dat de "Mazz Kommunikation areaz inklude television produktion, radio produktion, journalism, publik relationz n variouz otherz"...I also learnt dat "1st & 2nd yr studentz will take foundation modulez 2 develop generic knowledge & necessary skillz"..."I AM PERSONALLY very much interested 2 take up de Diploma in Mazz Kommunikation partikularly bkoz of de "Journalism Studiez" dat iz offered az part of de programme...i am very passionate abt writing (bkoz it givez me de oppourtunity 2 externalize my thoughtz & emotionz & also allow my kreative juicez 2 flow)...n de idea of writing @ a professional level iz a really attractive thought 2 me...I have multitudez of other intreztz & in diz kurrent moment in time i'm konsidering de possibility of pursuing a kareer in print journalism, skriptwriting & mayb even tv produktion..."
Well...obviouzly i'll b more spontaneouz n natural 2morow...de only thing dat originally kame frm my mouth iz de werdz in bold...de onez dat are in italickz are frm de research dat i did...Sonia told me de interviewerz asked different potential studentz different thingz...n in Sonia'z case...she waz asked wat she knew abt de kourse & y she wanted 2 take up diz course...so de only form of preparation i kud do iz 2 do research on de kourse & basikally rehearze wat i want 2 say...i don't want 2 stutter & "loose it" under de pressure..."Preparation IZ de key 2 success dey say"...i got dat frm RS'z old handbook...haha...dat waz one good piece of advice & reminder...well...i'll also b bringing all de previouz RS publikationz dat inkluded my pieces of writing...inkluding "River of Words" & "Camaraderie"...N I ALSO WANNA THANK CIK MUS 4 HELPING ME OUT DE OTHER DAY...i asked him 2 help me ask Mr Tsung (he'z like my very own Simon Cowell...mizz him...haha) weder he still kept all doz old newsletterz dat inkluded all de reportz i wrote...but unfortunately takder...aiyohhh...hahaha...takperlah...n apart frm all dat I asked Wendy 2 print out all de poemz i wrote...i have a feeling i have 2 stand out & juz go "give em one in de eye"...hahaha...wish me all de best guyz!...2 b totally honest...i wasen't even breaking a sweat abt diz interview...im not being arrogant or wat shit but i juz wasen't...n dat fact waz kinda bugging me...HELL...it kinda freaked me out...well...tanx Saidah...4 telling me dat "UR INTERVIEW IZ 2MOROW...DO U WANT 2 B IN DAT KOURSE OR NOT???!!!"...hahaha...dat kinda help...haha...
I've also been caged in my house perfecting my blog, staring @ de screen all day long till my brain rotz for DAYZ like a geek wit no life...I SERIOUZLY FEEL LIKE SHIT SAK...been living on an unhealthy diet of komputer-ing, blogging, hip-hop muzik (not exactly a bad ting) & Oreo Cookiez...i'm bkaming dizkuztingly ugly inside out...been living de lifestyle of a vampire...pagi bangon lambat, malam tengok tv sampai kol 1,2 pagi...datu kalau cuber tidoh takleh tidoh...terkelip2 mater dalam kegelapan sampai lewat malam cam budak tebiat...(i realized i need my dizcman & de right kind of song 2 juz fall deep asleep...)...DATZ WHY...i'm gonna start werking soon...pretty soon...yeah yeah...doz who know me well enuff tau dat since dulu aku cakap nak kejer tapi tak kejer2...diz time i'll make an effort aight?...Wendy'z kontrakt @ Metro pon da nak abez...sooo...we're planning 2 werk @ HMV pat Somerset...dey're looking 4 ppl...itz werth a shot...better den waiting 4 Cathay Cinema @ Causeway Point 2 kall me up...da applied tapi tak kall2...abok pon takder...when I 1st asked weder dey had any job vacanciez...dey said dey diden need any werkerz...n i asked multitudez of timez...den satu hari aku gi tengok wayang tiber2 muker baru semuer muncol...WTF sak...u tell me u diden need werkerz...den who de krap r all diz new ppl?...aaarghh...wat de krap...mayb rezeki aku pat HMV...Insya Allah...
Well...i've been listening 2 Leah Labelle'z version of "I Have Nothing" non-stop...itz been a while since a voice touched me...Leah Labelle'z voice touched me...shez great man...her vocalz haz dat "Mary J. Blige-kinda-maturity" 2 it...she de bomb...hahaha...
KK...gtg...nak mandi...paz 2 solat...pazz 2 rehearze 4 de interview somemore...n off 2 bed i go...PRAY 4 DE BEST 4 ME WILL YA???...
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:03 PM]
Friday, March 26, 2004
Skin-'"Lost"
What waz I waiting for
Waiting for the bubble 2 burst
Over your stagnant pausez
Can't cure what your devil don't see
Or light a fire below the death of me
We've shot through all over our causez
Dayz spin through my heart
That sever the love
Kill all the pain with shame
I won't be lost without you
I've found a way to get through
Now I'm up and running
Strong enough to walk away
And leave you alone
I won't be lost
What were you waiting for
Waiting for the straw to break
Over the back of desperate wayz
You were a dream to me
Now you're nothing but a heart
that bleedz
I'll wash you off and carry on
(Repeat bridge and chorus)
And when I see you
I find another way
To keep myself from getting lost in you
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:35 AM]
ReM!N!ScEnCe <20>
Hey Ya Bloggie...been a pretty long time since i laz updated ya wit watz going on in my life izent it?...1st of all...itz mainly bkoz I took a DAMN LONG TIME 2 re-new u...u have NO FREAKING KLUE wat i went thru 2 FINALLY find de perfect blogskin ("perfect" here refez 2 wat i personally konsider perfect n iz a proper representation of my individual taste n preference :D) n FINALLY settle down wit diz kurrent one...i waz basikally browsing thru all de blogskinz @ blogskin.com endlezzly wit soo much frustration n none of em waz juz rite...i waz even tempted 2 stranggle my kat 2 releaze some steam...den DIZ one tiber2 muncol n it waz like God answered my prayerz...hahaha...n i dizcovered a NEW website wit loadz of super-cool, super-slick blogskinz...it waz like blogskin paradize 4 me man...hahaha...well aniwayz...i hope u like ur new, improved, upgraded self...
N also...i fergot 2 mention dat...I MADE IT 4 DE MAZZ KOMMUNIKATION INTERVIEW!!!...WEE HOOO!!!...God haz answered my dezperate prayerz...hahaha...de interview will b on Monday @ 1.40pm...wish me luck man...(diz Mazz Kommunikation thingy iz beginning 2 feel like de Amerikan Idol!...haha...kk...lame...but i feel so...)...Sonia tadi juz kalled & told me her interview iz 2day...all de best 2 her, :D...de only form of preparation i'm planning 2 do iz go 2 de Straitz Timez Online website...read thru all de kurrent issuez & write a summary AND personal response 2 all of em...dat way i wud @ least b equipped wit some background knowledge on watz going on in de werld nowadayz...dont get me wrong though...im actually not starting 2 b more updated wit de kurrent newz juz 4 de sake of de interview...i know dat itz gonna benefit me in de long run...WELLL...datz all ihave 2 say 4 now yeah Bloggie!...
P.S. 2 whoevrz reading diz...PLEZE PRAY DAT I GET 2 BKAM A MAZZ KOMMUNIKATION STUDENT aight?
--> My Craft <--
--> Online Photo Album <--
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:55 AM]
Saturday, March 20, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <19>
Information Communication Technology @ Singapore Polytechnic. Datz wer im posted 2 Bloggie...hmmm...well...i surrendered everything 2 God...I juz made a decision...n de rest waz up 2 fate yah...EVERYTHING HAPPENZ 4 A REASON...but in diz partikular moment in time, i'm praying REALLY REALLY hard dat i pass my Mass Communication Test & Film,Sound & Video test...i've got a passion 4 writing...n de idea of writing @ a professional level...itz a really attractive thought...i juz hope 2 God dat i'll b able 2 make it, get thru de interview...n FINALLY bekam a Mass Communication student @ Ngee Ann Poly...pray 4 me will ya frenz?...hahaha...well aniwayz, i've finally uploaded some baby picz of mine...juz click on de link below 2 c it (if u wanna aniwayz...tak pakser...hahaha)...
--> My Craft <--
--> Online Photo Album <--
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [8:06 PM]
Thursday, March 18, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <18>
Hey ya Bloggie...man!...i really wanted 2 blog since morning but i kan't coz de com iz in my bro'z room...n he'z werking nite shift again 2nite...so i kan't uze de com coz he'z sleeping...well aniwayz, b4 i kontinue, i juz want it 2 b said dat i'm real proud of my bro...i've never told him diz b4 n i don't think i ever will, coz itz surprizingly skary dat him n me never ever had a matured grown-up conversation b4, n i dont think we ever will...mayb when we're adultz in de future...who knowz...BUT...i'm REALLY REALLY proud of him...he'z been werking hiz azz off...he'z really trying 2 change...trying hiz best 2 bkam a responsible young adult, a responsible son, a responsible brudder even!!! Yeah! datz a shocking reality check 4 me!...but heck...i'm real proud of my bro...well...now dat i've gotten DAT out of my chest...let me juz unleash watever it iz i juz needed 2 externalize n get out of my system since de freaking morning...
2day...2day waz...i donno man...magical?...datz a REALLY ackward word 2 deskribe 2day...but personally 2 me...it waz...2day waz like...A JOURNEY 2 DE PAST (tiber2 teringat lagu Aaliyah...haha)...i waz looking @ alll de old...i mean REALLY old photos...n it waz...a sentimental jiwang-ish moment...hahaha...i waz sniffing alot coz...in de picz...everyone waz happy...everyone who r no longer 2gether n no longer having smilez of pure genuine happinezz on deir facez in diz current present moment...were ONCE happy n 2gether back den...back in de past which i simply wish i kud run away 2...impossible ofcoz (duh)...ok look...i'm not actually grieving abt it but it waz juz a plain simple wish dat kame frm my heart...sighhh...wad happened?...how did thingz get so screwed up?...i mean...all de chaoz n conflictz have mowned now...but everyone iz not actually living de life of "One Big Happy Family" rite?...hahaha...(not funny still i luff...da tebiat ageknyer)...i mean...everyone waz suffering frm poverty n my mother suffering frm all dat mental abuse n lack of love in de past...but der iz a certain kind of undeskribable..."innocent-nezz" n "simple-nezz" n "tight-nezz" in de past...dat iz juz so... welcoming & heart-warming...
Well...looking thru all de old photoz waz great fun...n I dizcovered multitudez of super cool revelationz...I found several pikturez of my mama'z "x-boyfren"...n gezz wat?...he waz a damn...i mean REALLY DAMN good-looking british soldier back in de time when S'pore waz still under de British Occupation...HOW COOL IZ DAT???!!!...it waz...it waz,due 2 de lack of a better word 2 deskribe it,NICE, 2 know such thingz...hahaha...i mean...MAN!...my mama'z cool!...I also saw some pikz of my mama during her Beauty Queen dayz...hahaha...she told me she never won any of de competitionz but waz alwayz in de top 3...woah...awesomeee!!!...den i found a pikture of my father when he waz in diz body-building competition WAYYY b4 i waz even bornt...long2 time ago...hahaha...u c how much u kan learn abt de past of a person juz by looking at ONE picture???...ONE picture can tell a whole lot of storiez...n ofcoz i saw all my baby photoz...i love looking @ myself when i waz 2,3 yrz old coz i kan simply sit quietly n reflect...HOW DE HECK DID I GET FRM DER 2 DIZ RITE NOW?...hahahaha...but...de main thing dat i really wanted 2 tell u iz dat...after looking @ all doz photoz...of happy memoriez...of tracez of de past...i waz inspired 2 simply scan dem n link dem 2 my blog...it will b in some way or another my personal projek dat i'm doing 4 de sake of...i donno 4 who'z sake...4 everyone'z soul i gezz...it iz de least i kud do 2 cherish,treasure n preserve de past...a past dat i kud alwayz turn 2 when de going getz rough n i juz need 2 know dat happinezz n goodnezz do exist...or mayb i juz need 2 c de smilez on everyone'z facez and de warm happinezz dat once existed...n mayb looking @ dem kan somehow inspire me 2 bekam a better person...inspire me 2 move 2wardz a positive direktion...yeah...i'll try my best 2 complete diz project...so watch out 4 it ya...it'll b coming soon...
Well aniwayz...i teman-ed my mother 2 re-make her glassez pat daerah block 155 diz afternoon...n coincidentally...datz my old flat wer I used 2 live b4 we moved to block 123...u c???...a magical day izen it?...been looking at old photoz n de entire morning reminiscing bt de past n de next thing u know i'm near my old flat wer some of de old memoriez still linger...soo coincidental...aniwayz...my mama waz soo damn funny n hysterikal 2day...waz luffing alot coz my mama iz like really naturally cute n i can't help myself...her jokez really kill me man...hahahahahaha...den something happened in de spectacle shop 2day...a gerl walked in...a malay gerl...me n my mother were like talking n one thing lead 2 another n de next thing u know de gerl waz in our conversation...seriously ah...aku cam nak nangez sak dengar life-story dier...dier baru pri 6...stayed back...n it seemz 2 me...shez lacking care n concern frm her parentz...n pat skolah kener bully...she only haz one gal fren...n i felt sooooooooo kesian...coz i've been der...i've went thru all dat bullshit adolescent stuff n only Aaliyah'z song "I Care 4 U" waz my source of comfort...n when she died a pt of me died 2...(My God...see...everthing datz happened 2day made me reminisce bt de past...magical...soo magical)...n den de gerl kept on telling uz abt her life-story n de thing dat really killed me waz dat...she waz sooo innocent...dier cakap cam sajer2...ya know wat i mean?...only an innocent youth kan sajer2 juz talk to 2 unknown strangerz n bare her soul 2 uz...she waz sooo cute...n i waz verging on breaking down hearing diz innocent gerl'z sad life-story...well...her name iz Liya (my Gosh...not de "Don't Be Gendut" Liya alrite!!!...hahahah...such a freaky coincidence)...n she'z frm Fuchun Primary School...currently monitress of Pri 6H2...anione who knowz her...pleze watch her back 4 me will ya?...i donno y but she haz cemented a place 4 herself in my heart...mayb bcoz i saw myself in her...yeah...n if u know whoever diz Nazri guy frm de same clazz az her iz...gi ketok kepaler dier kuat2 coz he'z been bullying her...hahaha...
--> My Craft <--
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [12:33 AM]
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <17>
--> Woke Up In De Morning <--
Yo Bloggie...watsup man?...me?...i'm "alrite",i gezz? Diz morning i went 2 Ngee Ann poly 2 take my Mass Com & Film,Sound n Video test...& MAN!...my day 2day waz sure something...n datz an understatement...i woke up @ 7.30am...n i waz like DAMN! supposed 2 have woken up 2 solat Subuh n go online 2 read up on more news @ de Straits Time online website, coz Sonia (who iz freaking exempted frm de freaking test!!!) told me dat a fren of herz whoz in Mass Com told her dat (again wit all diz bloody tongue-twizterz...watsup wit me n all diz bloody tongue-twizterz?...hahaha) de test waz on current issuez...n I DONT READ DE NEWZPAPER...sighh...i waz also supposed 2 call up Liyana n ask her 2 "teman" me az i suffer reading de newz in de freaking morning...hahaha...but datz dat...so woke up...went back 2 bed again...hahaha...n got up frm bed again n took my shower...i remember how nice de warm water felt on my skin...perfect bliss...sighhhh...hahaha...den pazz 2...gi pakai baju (wore de new t-shirt i bought yezterday...hahaha...n damn de t-shirt looked fly...hahaha)...den...gel-ed up my hair( i think i need 2 do one more dying job...coz de reddish-ness tak nampak...only can b seen in de sunlight or any other form of light)...pazz 2,erm...gi makan breakfast...n mama gi tanyer..."Nak gi maner?"...n i waz like...MY GOD...she totally fergot i waz supposed 2 take diz VERYYY IMPORTANT TEST 2day,hahaha...den i said ah..."Nak gi amek Mass Com test 2 kan harini ma...,"den she waz like..."Ohh!!! Harini 16th eh?? i havent been keeping track wit de datez nowadayz"...hahaha...so i ate weetbix 4 breakfast...den gi "pack up" my pencil box (cam budak sec school sak...hahaha)...pazz 2 gi beroz gigi...den took my discman n off i went...
--> In De Buz & MRT On De Way 2 Clementi <--
My journey 2 Ngee Ann Poly waz sure very de "lepak"...like...cam...lepak ah...waz listening 2 my bro's "No Doubt" cd..."Tragic Kingdom" rawkz!...it sure made me 4get abt my nervouznezz...In de buz, der waz diz "businezz-looking-man-wearing-a-shirt" reading de Straitz Timez newzpaper and it made me feel worse...he waz 2 seatz infront of me...so i waz able 2 read de headlinez...i waz juz grasping on 2 any current newz dat kud mayb come in handy 4 de test...den i lookout de window...n *poof* i fergot wat de headlinez waz...hahaha...rabak...In de MRT...der waz diz minah tudong gerl...probably my age...i waz wondering if shez gonna b taking de test like me..she had some kinda note in her handz...n i waz like trying 2 peep @ it...hahahaha...maner ah tau!!! kalau ader useful tipz ker?...i know...i'm realising i'm sounding real desperate...hahaha...well...heck ah...Biler da sampai Jurong East i went out 2 transfer 2 another train...n i waz juz looking arnd 4 potential Poly Studentz...itz so easy 2 pick dem out n diztinguish dem frm de rez of de public...dey're teenagerz like me rite?...so look 4 teenage-looking-ppl...hahaha...i know i'm sounding real lame n stupid now,(wahhh...2day i'm sounding like a lot of thingz!!! desperatelah lamelah...ok...diz very statement i juz made soundz really dumb...wow! i can add sounding real dumb 2 de list 2 now!...hahaha...lame-azz)...KK...den MRT came...no seatz...lean against de side of de entrance door...sampai Clementi turon...
--> In De Buz 2 Ngee Ann Polytechnic <--
Well...when i waz @ Clementi i felt REALLY REALLY thankful dat Adnan waz bornt in2 diz world...hahaha...coz dat day he teman-ed me 2 Ngee Ann Poly 4 de application coz u know...i'm diz "budak kampong" who'z really an idiot n doesnt know how 2 get arnd much...so after he did "research" (hahahaha) on how 2 get 2 Ngee Ann Poly n teman-ed me de other day...now i'm able 2 get my way arnd...hahaha...i made my way 2 de bus stop n waited 4 de bloody 154 buz 2 come... N SUDDENLY!...something freaking shitty happened!!! MY DISCMAN BATTERY FLAT!!!...i kud have kried i tell u...hahaha...now derz NOTHING 2 diztract me! Bloody pantat betol...well...so datz dat..had 2 live wit it...@ de bus stop dey were SOOOOO many TALL, MATURED-LOOKING young ppl who i kan only assume r frm Ngee Ann Poly...der were SOOOO may of dem...i never realized God kreated so many ppl in diz world...hahaha...n frm wer i waz seating it looked like everyone knew someone n had a fren...like some homy 2 teman dem...I NEVER FELT MORE ALONE (n short n immatured) IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME...hahaha...well...datz dat...den...ermmm, de bloody 154 buz lambat giler datang...tengok jam da pukol 9.22am...kener sampai by 9.50am...10 min earlier...many of de ppl took de 184 buz...n i waz wondering weder it also take me 2 Ngee Ann...but i'd rather b late den possibly getting myself sesat in Clemeti...nanti buz 2 pusing satu Clementi mampoz sak aku sesat...hahaha...den de 154 buz finally arrived...jeng jeng jeng...N IT WAZ CRAMMED 2 DE CORE...MY GOD...even de 962 buz dat i alwayz take 2 go home after skool during my sec shooling dayz tak gini rabak sak, haizman, kener "squeezeee", hahaha...den in de buz again i saw many TALL,MATURED-LOOKING PPL...de Lil' Shawty Baby Boy within me waz slowly trying 2 unleash itself...i felt like such a baby man!...hahaha...i suddenly mizzed ALLLLL MY HOMIEZ...mizzed de good old sec school dayz wer all my frenz are...Well...reminiscing bt de old dayz over...back 2 reality..n in dat moment in time my reality waz dat i waz being *squished* in de buz...den der were 2 chinese gerlz infront of me..one of em said "i'm very nervous"...i'm totally feeling u gerl...sekurang-kurangnyer dier ader teman sak...den der waz also diz grp of chinese abeng-ish guyz...de tallest one waz speaking rather loud sak...satu baz leh dengar...hahaha...den finally sampai Ngee Ann Poly...got down and i waz finally able 2 BREATHE...
--> @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic <--
DEN I REALIZED SOMETING...i fergot 2 bring de little note wer i noted down de building number of de building wer i waz supposed 2 take de test n also my seat number...wat waz it?...no 652? 632 or something?...damn...i waz in a fix...so i waz like...walking alone directionlezzly in diz humonguz Polytechnic having no clue wer i waz supposed 2 go...imagine how dat muz have felt like,hahahaha...i mean...even if i know wat de building number waz...i still have no freaking clue wer it iz aniwayz...so i asked de security guard pat de entrance...i didn't feel malu coz my nyai had told me many storiez wer she waz stuck in several humiliating situationz BUT SHE DIDEN GIVE A FUCK...haha...shez de greatest...n if she had de gutz 2 do de thingz she did in de past...i kud @ least get over my ego n juz ask 4 de freaking directionz rite?...hahaha...so i asked...n de guy told me dat de building waz at de other side...hmmm...so i made my way der...n i'm telling u DER WERE SOOOO MANY PEOPLE...i felt soooo nervouz...i waz thinking diz iz wat Harry Potter muz have felt like on hiz 1st day @ Hogwartz...no frenz...no freaking clue wer 2 go...hahaha...so i kontinued walking like a kompletely lost idiot n juz followed de signz..."--> diz way 2 Building 72 4 de Mass Communication AND Film,Sound & Video Test"...SEKALI...ternampak Puteri sak!!!...hahahahahaha...shez my old pri 6 crush...i never got 2 know her but i only remember she waz gorgeouz...she waz like THE gorgeouz gerl in Fuchun Primary School during my dayz der...n somehow...due 2 some fated coincidental freak thingy...Azim Besar'z gerl kazen iz Puteri'z fren @ her secondary school, n thru de kazen Azim got 2 know Puteri, n now Azim likez her...alot...hahahaha...me n Azim alwayz joked abt who will get her one day...if he knowz dat Puteri iz trying out 4 de same course az me gerenti dier jelez giler...muahahahahahaha...hahahahahaha...kk...da tebiat sikit...don't mind me...well Azim told Puteri abt me...weder she remembered me...n ITZ A MIRACLE SHE DOEZ COZ WE NEVER EVEN TALKED B4...wahhhh....ader makner 2!...hahahahahahaha...well aniwayz...when i saw her i waz 2 damn freaking nervouz 2 get xcited or watever... she waz looking damn relax...smiling even!...looking pretty talking 2 diz grp of frenz...again i felt alone...she turned arnd n mayb saw me but i quickly looked away n walked up de stairz...MY GOD...SOOOO MANYY PPL...y dont all of u juz *kapoof* n do me a favour by disappearing or sometin...seriously man...cam dalam sarang semut sak...rimaz giler...not 2 mention my heart waz still beating fast...Well...den i think i waz @ de right building coz ppl were surely crowding arnd de lift...i saw de same sign az b4...had 2 go 2 de 2nd floor...hmmm...naik lift...again...i waz *squished*...de lift stopped stop @ d 2nd floor...de lift door opened n WE KUDEN GET OUT COZ AN ENTIRE FREAKING ARMY OF PPL WERE BLOCKING DE EXIT...i waz *squished* @ de backest back n wanted 2 say xcuse me...but de only sound dat kud come ut waz a soft "unpronounciable" sound dat came frm my throat...hahahahaha...jadi buat bodoh je lar...de lift went all de way 2 de 5th floor n aku kluar n went down de bloody stiarz...basikally following de crowd...
-->Waiting 2 Take De Test <--
I decided 2 juz lepak @ de 3rd floor coz de 2nd floor waz fully loaded...den der waz diz chinese guy who tegor-ed me...kiterang bebual ah...*yada-yada-yada*...he said bapak dier pakser dier gi sit 4 de test even though jc waz hiz 1st 2 choices...n i waz like "ok...*yada-yada-yada*...den de time FIANLLY came n de test waz abt 2 begin...de chinses dude made some stupid joke abt diz "fire-thingy-n-ppl-r trying-escape" n i waz like telling him "wat? i dont understand wat u r saying"...hahaha..."press-jokez"...when i said dat i felt soo dumb n wanted 2 smack my head...he told me dat bloody joke in a rather 'hearable" voice...cam ramai orang leh dengar n i simply told him flat out "I dont understand wat u juz said"...hahahaha... but hiz joke waz so lame...@ least my lamnezz haz a certain cutenezz 2 it...hahaha...welll den...i remembered dat i fegot ( i remembered i fergot something...such irony) my seat number...DIE...
OK AH...TAK KUASER SAK NAK DESKRAIB LAGI...LET ME SUMMARIZED IT ALL UP:
-I fergot my seat number...letz juz say somethin happened n it waz HUMILIATING
-The test...MY GOD...letz juz say dat de 2 test for both courses REALLY tezted my kreativity, sense of imagination n ability 2 write great English
-Went home wit Yit Sze!..Yez!!! I FINALLY found a familiar face,somebody i know...muahahahaha
-My guezz on how well i did 4 de test?...letz juz say ITZ ALL IN GOD'Z HAND NOW...so help me GOD
--> My Craft <--
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:42 PM]
Saturday, March 13, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <16>
MAN! i'm tired...been out de whole day...cam pening sikit kepaler...haiz...nvm, it will pass...WELL ANIWAYZ! RS Fiesta haz finally arrived! it'll b frm 10am alll de way 2 5pm...hmmm...kinda xcited bt it...can't wait 2 "dunk" Mr. Tsung in2 de water...if he'z game enuff 2 get himself "dunk'd" by me...hahahaha...so aniwayz...2day i teman-ed Cik Mus (a.k.a Muser) n Mama Barney (a.k.a Sara) (JUZ LOVE DIZ CUTE LITTLE NICKNAMEZ OF DEIRZ...dey hate it though...hahaha) 2 Bugis 2 collect deir costumez...
Well...it kinda felt lyke de old timez (which izen really dat long ago...haha) when i took de 962 bus 2 skool 2day...hmmm...it waz kinda nice juz chilling in de buz...listening 2 my discman...staring blanky @ de window, obliviouz 2 my surroundingz...den dah sampai skolah...i felt kinda nervouz...dont ask me y coz i have no freaking clue y i waz feeling a lil nervouz...haha...az i entered de skool gate i saw de stallz dat had already been put up pat carpark...hmmm...lookz nice...i'm being real supportive of de fiesta coz i know many of my frenz n siztaz n whoever have been werking deir azz off putting everything 2gether...especially de current sec 4s...kesian sak...diz yr kene amek o levelz datu kene do diz RS Fiesta thingy...wahh...i totally respect dem 4 diz...hahaha...den az i headed 4 de staircase 2 get 2 class 4/8 i saw Sara n Shaik putting up diz background thingy which i later found out waz 4 de photo-shooting thingy (i'm feeling really kinda tired...so datz y i'm deskribing many thingz az "thingy"...)...said hi 2 dem n off i went 2 c Cik Mus pat 4/8...dier ngah sebok doing hiz SpongeBob thingy!!!! hahahahaha...cute sey! n Insyirah iz gonna b SpongeBob! hahahahahaha...(Who livez in de sea bla bla bla donno de bloody lyrikz...SpongeBob Square Pantz!!...hahahaha...giler)...tapikan...Insyirah gerl tau...so she shud b SpongeBobera Square Skirt...hahahahahaha...mepek sak aku...giler habez...kk...den...(fast-4ward)...we made our way downstairz (aniwayz...Azim kecik called me "Cookie Monster...aiyoh!"...wondering how de freak he knowz bt diz Cookie Monsta thingy)...datu jumper Saidah...muker dudette aku strezz giler sak!!! keciannn dier...4 a moment der aku ingat dier tanak salam aku tau...cam aku ader buat salah ngan dier gitu...haiz...lax ah dude...takya ah nak cocok aku samer pisau semuer...violent sak adek ku yng kedingni...kk...denn...(fast-4ward)...off me,Sara n Muser went...(aniwayz...i have no idea how many beauty productz Mama Barney can stuff in2 dat bag of herz...hahaha)...
De weather waz freaking sweltering hot...kesian Cik Muz samer Mama Barney...while i waz having my afternoon nap dorang terlari sini terlari saner...naek tangger turon tangger...wahhhh...strezz habez!...Den...erm...we were in de MRT...n entah asal entah Mama Barney tertawer sowang2...rambot dier stuck pat tepi de place wer ppl usually lean against @ de MRT entrance door...i think she waz giggling non-stop coz diz Indon couple beside me...alamakkk...haiz...de woman waz like..."cakaplah...cakaplah...kita nak pegi ke mana?...cakaplah cakaplah cakaplah cakaplah..."...nonstop sak!...naseb baik aku ader discman coz i waz like rightt beside dem...kalau tidak i waz gonna like turn 2 dem n asked dat bloody bf of herz 2 "CAKAPLAH" alamakkk...hahaha...aniwayz,Cik Muz banyak joget tadi dalam MRT...haha...no lah...he had 2 like stop himself frm falling down everytime de MRT stopz...like he jerkz 4ward n backwardz...hehehe...(hahahaha...bastard sak ketawerkan orang)
When we were finally @ Bugiz...de "Amazing Race" had officially begun...me n Sara were head 2 head wit each other..."racing", competing...de person 2 find and enter de costume shop 1st won...wahhhh...kiterangnyer race klakar gitu...cam game...we were like walking damn fast n Muser pat blakang ngah cam giving uz cluez n directionz 2 de freaking place...he waz like..."de whole stretch infront of u iz still de middle road" or something like dat lah...we raced n played "dirty"...hahaha...last last Mama Barney menang!!!...arghhh!!!!...well...u can't win em all!...sighhh...hehehe...aniwayz...de costume shop waz AMAZING!!!!...i mean...like dey were sooo many bloody fun thingz der!...i waz like a fat kid in a cake shop...i waz trying on all de diff kindz of hatz dey had der!...hahahaha...i tried on de cowboy hat...yeee hawww! howdy cowboy!...hahaha...ermm...tengok cermin...hmmm...not bad...i'd make a pretty fine hot cowboy...hahahaha...prasan...den i tried on de Knight'z headpiece...wahhh piang...ketat sak...sakit telinger aku biler cuber squeeze de thing down my head...tapi biler da pakai longgar pulak...hmmm...banyak lagilah aku try...boleh dikaterkan cam budak keciklah aku tadi,trying on de hatz while Muser n Sara got deir costumez...hahahaha...n u know wat or not?...Mama Barneykan!!!! dierkan!!! dierr...dier...jadi Snow White seyyyy...hahaha...n Muser jadi Gandalf..sorcerer lah...cam Dumbledore gitu...fuah...
YAWNNNNNNNNN...sorry man...can't continue anymore...2 sleepy...gonna brush my teeth n off 2 bed i go...YAWNNNNNN...
Well, if u're reading diz, do check out My Craft HERE aite?...yawwwnnn
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [10:00 PM]
ReMiNiScEnCe <15>
Mannnn...diz suck big time...Wendy juz bought me diz hair dye n it turnz out itz not halal...haiz...now i'm lyke havin "intense", "important" "negotiationz" wit my frenz n tryin 2 persuade dem 2 buy it frm me...@ a freaking diskount man!!! i'm giving u guyz a bargain herre!!!...i wanna dye it b4 de RS Fiesta...mainly coz i'll get ten easy freaking buckz juz 4 having my hair colour change 2 dark copper brown...Leyu dared me...actually i herd her wrongly...she made a deal dat if my hair grew longer by sunday i'll get de money...but den i tot i herd if my hair turned dark copper-brown instead...but wat de heck...we made a pinky promise...N I DONT WANNA LOSE $10 JUZ LIKE DAT...PLEZE BUY DE DYE FRM ME PPL...itz @ a diskount...im selling it 2 ya @ $13...u aint gonna find another bargain lyke dat anywer now or in de future...so plezeeee...buy it frm mee...(i'm actually verging on desperate-nezz rite now...hahaha...wadever)...
Well aniwayz,y dont u kill some time n juz check out My Craft HERE aite?
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [12:41 AM]
Saturday, March 06, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <14>
well...ok...diz entry iz a description of wat happened 2 me yezterday nite...n boy do i have loadz of stuff 2 tell u...
Yesterday Kak Radiah called me up n asked abt de flyer distribution job...de pay waz $20 juz 4 handing out pieces of ppr...common man...sure thang! n itz not lyke i got better stuff 2 do xcept playing PS2 till my brain rot at home...so i told her i'll call up my frenz n asked dem if dey wanted de job 2, coz she told me dat de more ppl i kud find 2 diztribute de flyerz de better...den Adnan called me up n i told him bt de job...n ofcoz it waz so typical of him 2 take forever 2 make a decision n he asked me 2 call up Lina 2 asked her...bla bla bla...i ended up making bloody phonecallz here n der 2 clarify here n der...n i waz lyke so damn pist...i mean...seriously ah...de only thing i asked waz do u want de freaking job or not? u only have 2 diztribute flyerz pat orchard n de pay iz $20...as simple az dat...datu korang make it sound lyke aku pakser korang 2 take de job...cam as if u're doing it 4 my sake...korang nak ke tanak last last im still gonna get my 20 bucks sak...kalau tanak cakap jer la tanak...kk...i'll shut up...u guyz...if u're reading diz...SORRY ALRITE 4 TALKING CRAP BT U GUYZ OK...haha...but de only reason u shud b pist at me iz coz i'm complaining bt u guyz...no more den dat...other den dat...I HAVE EVERY RITE 2 B PIST...n diz iz also 2 get even wit Adnan 4 all hiz bloody "bastardy" jokez n Lina 4 being a minah gatal tebiat when she saw dat mat baju merah...1st nak turun pat sembawang, datu admiralty...last last si mat 2 turun pat woodlands...n he wasent even dat good-looking...lagi handsome Muser sak...haha...kk...i'll make it up 2 u by describing dat whole "MRT DOOR CLOSING N DEN OPENING BACK THINGY" later in my entry k?...haha...well...den...janji Kak Radiah kol 7 sampai orchard, kol 6.50 baru kiterang naek mrt pat woodlandz...it waz Muser's fault...partly my fault 2 ah...bastard sak,part aku aku tak komplain part orang lain aku komplain...hahahaha...aniwayz i waz late coz i spent soooo much time calling here n der datu muser tak reply2 (n dat wasnt hiz fault) n by de time korang da finally made up ur minds da kol 6, datu aku nak mandi,nak solat,nak gel rambot...takez timekan???...kk...i'll shut up...hahaha...n aniwayz...diz iz 2 get even wit Muser 4 dat torturouz MRT ride dat u n Adnan put me thru...KORANG KALAU KECIK TAKPER JUGAK SAK NAK SQUEEZE2...datu aku pat tengah...violent sak...
KK...den da sampai orchard kiterang jumper Kak Radiah...dah lamer tak nampak dier sak...ever since u-know-wat happened...haha...still az jambu az ever...datu dier nampak aku pakai t-shirt yng dier belikan untok bthday aku dulu dier happy sak...hahaha...erm...n she waz wit Su n her sizter...den pas 2 dier gi brief uz on wat we're supposed 2 do n started allocating uz at de different venuez...Huda samer Lina pat daerah heerenz, Adnan depan Borderz, aku pat depan de place wer ppl kluar when alighting at orcahrd ,n Muser at de street opposite...haha...n off we went...
At 1st aku cam nervous sak nak kasi orang flyer...klakar gitu...like...wat am i supposed 2 say?..."here, take diz?"...datu aku duduk pat stepz organize de flyerz...sekali Muser datang n i felt relieved...aku ingat dier nak cam give out de flyerz 2gether wit me, sekali dier tak tau camner nak get 2 de other side...(-.-")...den pas 2 seblom dier nak gi blah...aku suroh dier tunggu jap...until i gave away one flyer baru dier leh blah...haha...den aku pun trylah...der waz diz chinese couple...ok...Kak Radiah cakap nak kasi flyerz bukan untok semuer orang, muz b selective..muz b matured looking young adultz...muker jeniz yng gi clubbingnyer, jeniz2 anak2 metropolitan tak leh, mat2 sluar tapered tak yah buang maser...n jangan semuer melayu jerlah...coz diz event iz mostly cam orang ciner organize ke per...entahlah...den aniwayz...i tot diz chinese couple waz like suitable...den aku cakap..."xcuse me"...den aku hand out de flyer...n cam de gerl smiled n cam shake her hand tanak ah...datu dier samer bf dier continued walking...aku disappointed giler...haha..baru stakat gitu da disappointed giler sak...den! sekali! tiber2!...de gerl patah balek sak!!! hahaha...she had 2 walk like...walk back...15 stepz back?n she smiled n took de flyer...hahaha...aku pun senyum n kasi ah dengan penoh gratitude...hahaha..i mean! like..she sanggop 2 walk back quite a distant juz 2 get a freaking flyer...kalau cam typicalnyer orang nak pusing muker tengok muker aku lagi pun malaz sak...so my 1st ever flyer waz great..n den aku bilang Muser.."dah..kau dah leh gi blah..."...hahahaha...bastard sak aku...
One thing i can tell u iz dat orang2 pat orchard bermacam-macam krena...yng baik...yng sopan...yng prangai cam sial memang nak tunggu kener rembat jer satu hari...haha...i got ALOT of storiez 2 tell u...let me juz spare u de misery n tell u some of de more...err..."xciting n not easily forgettable" experiences...well...der waz diz 2 matz..dey looked like matured adultz (only later did i realized cicak pat tembok toilet aku lagi matured)...dey were biglah...i mean...abt...FIVE of me kud fit in2 dem...den aku kasi ah flyerz 2 dem...aniwayz...aku kalau kasi flyerz aku tak cam muker ego ke per sak..i mean i genuinely smile if i give one 2 u n if u take it i'll say tanx n smile again n b happy ah...kalau cakap tankiu lagi aku cam...appreciate de kind gesture ah...stakat tanx pun heppi ah sak...n if u dont want it n juz say "itz ok"...like dat pon aku alrite...at least dey have de decency 2 say sometin n smile...ader yng baik...tapi ader muker cam siak jer...ader tengok aku cam binatang dari planet maner sak...cocok mater baru tau...tengok datu muker attitude...muker kalau hansome takper jugak...nampak sah aku lagi handsome sak...yng pompuan pun ader samer jugak...well aniwayz..back 2 de "FAT GUYZ"...kk...only one of em yng prangai..de other one waz chilled...so..de chilled "Fat Guy"...who i will call "Fat Guy 1"...u're not dat fat...u will lose weight one day...NOW...yng kawan dier prangai...HE..i will address as "Fat Guy 2"...entah apasal entah...aku kasi dier flyer..tiber2 dier cakap..."NI CARD JER ADER ORANG TAKDER"....datu walk off ah...wit a bloody smirk on hiz face...tengah bilang kawan dier ah agaknyer..."terror tak aku???...tunjok prangai pat budak who is 1/10 my size??"...haha...datu aku cam "huh?"...den i waz telling myself...orang dier ader ke takderke maner aku tau sak...aku stakat hand out flyers sak...ok...datz bt de fat guyz...now...ader kumpulan mat taik ni lak...bunch of sec 1s n 2s ke entah lah...prangai...memang prangai...agaknyer semuer aspiring nak jadi Simon Cowell...yer dek..bagoz...dey were like diz whole grp...datu entah da tebiat ke per a number walked infront of me n a number walked behind me...kalau jauh2 takper...ni dekat2...nampak sah attitude...n de funny thing abt it waz dat diz guy whose height waz i think...halfway down my arm...stare pat aku...hahahahaha...i mean stare nak carik gadohnyer kind of stare...hahaha...adoi...gi act dalam citer anak metro 3 lah dek..hahaha...aku pun stare balek sak...den one guy behind me said..."takderlah...kau patot panggil dier abang bodoh"..n de only thing i kud infere frm diz line waz dat..diz budak kecik yng stare pat aku...dier mungkin ingat aku ni hiz age (yes...dier memang tebiat..nampak sah aku taller sak)n nak carik pasal...haiz...den i tot...Boy! konek kau tak sampai stengah pinky aku kau dah nak carik pasal...kau leh gi belah lah...
One shit xperience dat i kud NEVER forget iz de one involving de "Mat Salleh tuer jeniz gi batamnyer"...alamakkk...ni case tebiat habez sak...hahahaha...i waz giving him a flyer...datu dier gi tanyer aku...wat iz diz?...aku pun jawab ah..."Diz iz a flyer (like...DUH!...hahaha)...derz a new hang out place called BLISS, u can check out de detailz at de back"...datu dier nyer reaction...Ya Allah...hahahahahaha...diz iz hysterical...dier tanyer aku..."iz diz 4 eating?" datu dier gi buat action cam orang ngah makan nasik pakai tangan...datu aku cam tak tau camner nak react sak...datu dier sambong lagi..."Diz iz not *entah aper bender entah, i think some kind of drug ke per*..."...datu DIER TEBIAT SAK!!!...while he waz asking diz question dier cam covered one of hiz nostril..konon2 cam orang ngah taking drugz lah...datu aku cam ingat...KAU NAK SEMBOH HINGUS KAU PAT MUKER AKU KE PER???"...datu as if watever he said waz not enuff...dier SAMBONG LAGII..."im a bad person arent i?"..n i was like tinking...'I DONNO MAN...UR A FREAK DATZ WAT U ARE"...entah dier mabok ker nak berjenaker ker aku pon tak tau...aku dahlah penat sak...den diz...aku stunned habez...
kk...2 much stuff happened yezterday nite...n emotionz were xploding all over...bada-boom!...balek kol 12.30am...mama tengking...datu dier soo worried bt me she got a fever...i felt SOOOO guilty..but thingz r cool between uz now yeah?...aniwayz...
Do check out My Craft HERE aite?
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [12:24 PM]
Thursday, March 04, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <12>
Man! diz muz b de shortest entry i've ever written in my short history of blogging...haha...well...2 tell u de truth, im 2 much of a lazy azz 2 write much 2day...i'm still sick...i'm still having fever...SOOO...rite now...i'm juz chilling out 2 Jennifer Lopez'z "Feelin' So Good" featuring Big Pun...diz song waz in a time when Jennifer Lopez (not J. Lo or Jenny..she waz juz Jennifer Lopez den...haha) waz diz hot new latino senorita...diz chilled, down 2 earth gal who waz juz a bonafide rnb soulster n der waz none of dat diva-esque quality bt her or dat Bennifer shit going on...haha...i like diz song...itz chilled n makez me feel good...(duh! de title iz "Feelin' So Good" rite?)...n im also grooving 2 Brian McKnight's "All Night Long" featuring Nelly...hmmm...i donno y...but i never knew Brian McKnight waz capable of singing any other kindz of songz xcept love-sick rnb balladz...haha...im an idiot...diz song iz groovy...n ofcoz i'm also listening 2 hiz love-sick ballad "6, 8, 12"...sighhh...cair hati aku dengar lagu ni...sooo sweet n lovey-duey...haha...i donno watsup wit me...i gezz dat when im sick...i need 2 listen 2 "love-sick-puppy" kinda songz...haha...n later...erm...i think i'll juz go surf de net n try 2 look 4 cheatz on how 2 get pazz diz stage in Final Fantasy X2...itz been a longggg time since i played it...i think de last time I actually played it on PS 2 waz juz b4 i left 4 Australia...sighhh...i mizz Yuna, Rikku n Paine...I JUZ HOPE I DONT 4GET MOZ OF DE STUFF DAT I PLAYED SO FAR...well...later i check 4 de codez...kk
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [11:54 AM]
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <11>
Hey Bloggie...i'm sorry bt yezterday...i gezz i waz juz damn freaking frustrated n very very confused...i'm feeling alrite rite now...i think dat i finally figered it out...due 2 de fact dat i was not n still izen sure abt weder i wanted 2 go 2 a Poly OR JC in de 1st place...i do not know weder de cause of my anger waz a result of me wanting 2 enter a JC, but eventually i diden't make it, n i am not able 2 qualify 4 a JC...OR...me never wanting 2 go 2 a JC in de 1st place, but even so i juz wanted 2 know dat i AM ABLE 2 go 2 a JC aniwayz...WATEVER DE TRUE CAUSE OF MY ANGER N FRUSTRATION IZ, it all boilz down 2 me not being able 2 qualify 4 a JC...derfore i DID screw-up my O Levels a lil' bit..yes..i admit i DID SCREW UP 4 MY O LEVELZ...( but juz a lil' bit...coz considering all doz shit i had 2 go thru in sekandery school...n i waz able 2 survive n make it thru all doz bullshit...i did alrite man...i DID PRETTY DAMN ALRITE...AND...I IMPROVE A BLOODY HELL LOT...n i got an A1(!) for EL n B3(!) for combined sciences...muahahaha)...haha...but i kud have done better n qualified 4 JC...haha...but even though DAT it may be...I am NOT a screw-up...IM NOT...im gonna work hard frm now onwardz n reach 4 my dreamz n aspirationz n one day DO wat im passionate abt n DO WAT I WANT 2 DO...
I am rite now taking de 1st few stepz 2wardz my dreamz...1stly...let it b known dat wat izit dat i exactly want 2 b n do when i grow up izen really defined yet...im not sure wat i want 2 establish myself as when i grow up...i know i've got passion 4 writing n music...n i can say (I AM making diz statement, defore u dont have 2 agree wit it...n i dont give a fuck if u dont...haha) dat i do have some talent in diz 2 fieldz...
So 2 day i waz juz stressing myself out abt wat coursez i want 2 take...asking myself questionz like, which of diz coursez will help me realize my dreamz n help me b wat i want 2 b when i grow up...n i waz SOO BLOODY STRESSED-OUT coz none of de coursez were really 4 me...but den i chatted wit Zilah...n she told me dat her auntie told her n she decided 2 share diz lil' piece of info wit me (WAT IZ UP wit me n all diz bloody tongue twisterz???...haha)...dat watever coursez u do take in Poly, it DOESN'T HAVE 2 neccesarily b directly-linked 2 wat izit i actually want 2 b n do when i grow up...N BOY DID DAT GAVE ME LOADZ OF SHIT-AZZ RELIEVE...haha...n den i tiber2 terpikir pasal Kak Oprah (my mother n me call Oprah Winfrey Kak Oprah...I KNOW...FREAKY!!!!)...she diden't started her career directly as a Hostess of a great talk show...she waz a news presenter wit loadz of talent n potential on radio!!! u huh!!!...so datz wat ur auntie waz trying 2 say Zilah!...hmmm....yes yes...i'm relieved...muahahahaha
SOOO...in diz partikular moment in time, i think im moz probably gonna take de Mass Comunicationz course...initially i waz panicking n more frustrated (z if i needed de additional strezz man!!!! watsup wit me n diz werld mannn???!!!) coz i kuden find de freaking codez 4 diz course 4 registration online...carik carik carik sampai kepaler naek pening...den i realised dat itz under SAE (Special Admissions Exercises)...and NO LINA...it doesn't mean dat studentz who took deir O Level examinationz r not qualified 2 take diz course...it simply meanz...according 2 Wendy Hao...dat de specialty of diz particular course iz dat i have 2 directly apply 4 it @ NP...n I have 2 undergo a written test some time in mid-March (YEP!...A TEST!!! HELP!!!)...n if i passed...i either qualify 4 de course straight away or i'll have 2 go 4 an interview some time at de end of March (YEP!...AN INTERIVEW!!! HELP!!!)...n if i satisfy deir "suitability" criteriaz...I'M INN!!!...well...2morow i'm going 2 down 2 NP's Convention Centre 2 get n hand in de application form...coz 4 some reason i cant open de downloaded application form from my komputer...WELL...WISH ME LUCK MAN...I WANT DIZ COURSE...n I'M NOT A SCREW-UP...I'LL MAKE IT...I BELIEVE I'LL MAKE IT...
Well aniwayz, 2 whoeverz readin diz, do check out My Craft HERE aite?
PEACE
he flared his nostrils rapidly [5:32 PM]
Monday, March 01, 2004
ReMiNiScEnCe <10>
I will not blabber on abt bullshit n juz go straight 2 de point and juz get diz bloody shit out of my head n off my chest...2 b honest...de truth iz de fact dat i did not qualify 4 a JC haz been eating me up...killing me softly...n it feelz like a knife iz slicing my heart slowly...but intensely...n i feel like such a screw-up..such..such a screw-up...n de fact dat i kuden qualify 4 a JC iz really taking itz toll on me...i've been doing thingz i wud never in my life ever do...2day...juz now...i juz asked a gerl 4 her number...n I dizguzted myself 2 de core..who de hell do i think i am?...mentang2 some gerlz minat pat aku im beginning 2 think dat im some smoooth operator..BULLSHIT...but really...it waz juz my disappointment n de whole "me consuming myself in my own failure" iz de shit dat haz made me do thingz i wud never do...
BUT ITZ TIME I STOP WIT DIZ BULLSHIT MENTALITY...ITZ TIME I GROW UP N LET SOME MATURITY ROLL IN MAN...IM NOT A SCREW-UP...I DON'T HAVE 2 CURSE OR START SPITTING VULGARITIEZ OUT OF MY MOUTH 2 EMPHASIZE IT...IM NOT A SCREW-UP....U HEAR DAT U BULLSHIT PPL...U DONNO WAT I HAD2 GO THRU IN SEKENDERY SCHOOL...U DONNO NOTHING....N U HEAR DAT ARMAN..UR NOT A SCREW UP...
De thing iz...1st of all...b4 i kontinue, i think dat everyone iz entitled 2 deir own opinionz n perzpectivez n i'm living my life de way i view it n in my own termz...so..az i waz saying...de thing iz...i think dat de O Level examintaionz iz a reflection of all doz yearz in secondary school...all de good..and de bad...
he flared his nostrils rapidly [9:46 PM]